I see some moms who continue on in a way much like their lives before children. They attend college football games, constantly post pictures of travel and date nights, and somehow already have amazing post baby bodies, too!
A normal daily outing for Carson and me consists of a trip to Publix or a walk around the neighborhood. A BIG outing consists of a play date with another mommy and baby or, on a rare occasion, out to dinner.
I know I am in the category of worrier/overprotective mother. Hey, it's my first time and I just love the Cuddle Monster so much! I cant help but worry. I WISH I could be more carefree and adventurous with my child. I mention these other mothers all out of PURE JEALOUSY. I could easily obtain the lives I envy, but I somehow always have a range of excuses that hold me back. The excuses go something like...
"We don't have family members that live near us to help out."
"We don't have day care."
"I'm still breastfeeding."
"We don't want to spend money."
"Getting a babysitter (stranger) is scary!"
...and the one I notice myself saying the most...
"I don't know if Carson will handle (insert activity here) well?"
So, the revelation that my baby and I can handle A LOT more than I give us credit for came when our family went to go visit my best friend. Leave it to the best friend to teach ya somethin'... and she doesn't even have kids!
It was going on the side of WAY-TO-LONG since I've seen my college bestie/sorority sister. We somehow would try to plan a trip to see each other and then the plans would fall through. Finally, we just decided to pick a date, put it on the calendar, and hold to it.
So my husband, 7-month-old baby and I packed our Ford Edge far more than we needed to for a weekend get-away, and we were off on our 6-hour trip from Jacksonville to Pensacola to visit my friend, Olivia, and her husband, Bentley.
One of the many things I cherish about Olivia is her zest for life. She makes me get out of my comfort zone. She always has. (That's probably why we have LOTS of great stories to tell from our college adventures!) So, visiting her was nothing short of busy and fun! I wanted so badly to hang out with my best friend and be the mom that went with the flow. But each activity that we did, I had terrible anxiety about how it would turn out. Here's a list of the many things we did during the roughly 36 hours we were there...( all with baby in tow!)
Friday:
-arrived in town late and ate Bentley's amazing cedar plank salmon while sipping on wine and laughing about who knows what.... Carson even stayed up till 11:30
Saturday:
- went out to eat for breakfast
- attended a walking tour of historic downtown Pensacola, FL (Carson only had one almost accident involving a hundred-year-old piece of china in one of Florida's oldest homes!)
- walked around the Seafood Festival in downtown Pensacola
- headed to a bar to watch the Florida State football game
(O.K. here is where I have to tell you my mommy anxiety meter was burning bright red. I was pretty impressed by how much we had done throughout the day so far, but a BAR?
This is how the scenario played out in my head when I heard we were taking Carson to a bar to watch the game:
I walk in to the dark smoke-filled packed bar cradling my baby while being pushed from all directions until I find a seat to sit with my child. Everyone is staring at me thinking how awful of a mother I am to have a child in a bar. "How could she?!" Beer is sloshing everywhere while people are yelling and cheering at the television screens. Of course, Carson is crying!
Reality:
I walk into the open, clean, sun-filled room where everyone is sitting at tables eating lunch pleasantly watching the game. It's just like any sports bar on an early Saturday afternoon; all different types are there to watch the game, families included. It's relatively quiet while Carson, Olivia and I walk over to our husbands waiting on us with chairs for us to sit in. We order some food and drinks. People come over to Carson to tell us how cute he is in his Seminole jersey.
So, yes. My imagination definitely ran away from me! Good thing I had Olivia there to tell me all was going to be O.K. before we walked in. Carson loved the clapping and cheering and all the commotion to keep him busy! He lasted the whole 4 hours of the game at that bar! Of course it was a bit tiring for my husband and I to hold him the whole time, but ultimately we all had a great time watching our 'Noles win!
Back to the list...
- headed back to the house to regroup and give Carson a nap
- went back to Seafood Festival to eat dinner and attend an 80's cover band concert
Sunday:
- went for a walk around Olivia's beautiful historic neighborhood
- ate brunch at a restaurant overlooking the gulf
- relaxed on the beach before our trip home
I didn't want to tell Olivia no to any of these things just because I was nervous about how Carson would handle it. I wanted to show her I could do it all and live it up like we used to. I only denied her once when she tried to get her neighbor to watch Carson while we went to the concert. A stranger watch my child? I'm not that carefree. I know I was a nervous wreck at times worrying about all these "new" adventures with Carson, but ultimately I had a blast. I loved spending time with my best friend and it meant the world to me for her to meet Carson.
Did we do a lot in a 36-hour time frame? Heck ya. Was I tired? That's an understatement.
But the real question:
How did Carson do? Just fine. Wow, I could do more than just take him to the grocery store and back in a day? What a revelation!
I couldn't help but look at Olivia's life and envy it a bit. Her husband is killing it as a new lawyer in town while she is doing awesome expanding her father's business and teaching dance at night. They also have tons of friends and seem to be quite the socialites of Pensacola. I wouldn't expect anything less from this power couple!
It made me reflect on my life and my situation. Of course we can't do all that they do or have weekends like that all the time, but we can definitely get out a little more! I need to stop making excuses because I am nervous or anxious about the unknown.
God bless my friendship with Olivia. A friend that is good company is great, but a friend that can make you become a better version of yourself is one to be cherished. Since my visit with Olivia, I have started to say yes to so much more! Not only will it benefit Carson to have new experiences, but Mommy and Daddy will start to get some "normalcy" back into their lives again, too!
