"I am the luckiest woman on earth. How did I find someone as great as you?"
My relationship with Brett has always come easy. From our first flirty tennis date in 2007, we were infatuated with each other. We never had to work or wonder about our relationship. Once, when we were in college and only dating a couple of months, we both had big study nights ahead of us. We didn't necessarily have time to hang out, but Brett found himself at my sorority house just wanting to see me. I, too, wanted to see him. We picked up study snacks; you know, Gatorades, Red Bulls, pretzels, chocolate... the diet of all late-night college students. We were just two kids without a care in the world. Being in each other's presence was always enough. It never mattered what we were doing, as long as we were together.
Living together also came easy. I remember talking to other couples and wasn't able to relate to the annoyance or difficulty that came with living with the opposite sex for the first time. Our first place together was probably all of 600 sq. feet and we couldn't have been happier. Even with my "a little bit less than perfect clean house" and his particularity with things in certain places, everything just fell into place. Livin' was easy. Our marriage, our jobs... life was good.
Brett and I have always been good about settling our disagreements. We talk. We communicate. We let each other know our feelings -- the good, the bad, and the ugly. I think lately, we still talk, we still communicate, yet the delivery in which we let each other know our differences has been less than desirable.
Lately, I have been deeply studying the Book of James. My lovely Bible Study women and I have picked a study that solely goes through this particular book of the Bible pretty much verse-by-verse. James has always been my favorite book, with its analogies and life application; it's an English Teacher's dream! Being someone that has grown up knowing God and studying his Word, I have many times become immune to what the Bible tells me. This time, I have been craving for God to speak to me. I didn't want this to be another study that I can just add to my collection. "Please, God, let these words speak to me and change my heart." Well, He heard me. A verse that I even have memorized jumped out at me and said:
"Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires." James 1:19
So I reflect on my own actions lately with my husband according to this verse:
1. Quick to Listen. So, this first means shutting up. Don't have the first word...or the last. Just listen. Listen without the preparation of what I am going to say next. Listen and understand his side, his opinions, his heart.
2. Slow to speak. When I first read this, I thought, okay, more listening. Got it. But as I realized the type of writer James, brother of Jesus, is, I knew that he is so intentional with each of his words. He wouldn't repeat himself in this way. Take note, Dianna, what is he saying? For lack of a better analogy, I think of word vomit. Word vomit is saying things without even thinking about what you want to say before it comes out of your mouth. Like vomit, it just has its way of spewing out of you probably not in the most lovely of ways. Instead, James wants me to be wise with my words. I need to realize that every word I say can have a lasting effect.
3. Slow to become angry. This one hit home. I wouldn't say I am angry, but I'm definitely moody. Come on, I'm pregnant! Can't I be exempt from this one? Life can give someone all sorts of reasons to be nasty to other people, not feeling well, stressed, tired, anxiety, sadness... it is how we deal with these certain emotions that come our way that show our true colors.
My colors haven't been the prettiest lately toward my husband. Pregnancy is not an excuse.
Regardless of what life throws at us (and I think we've had it pretty good; my family is showered with blessings), we are called to love one another. James had this figured out. He didn't say only certain people should do this. He called EVERYONE to action. This is a command for ALL people. Even pregnant people. ;)
One of the reasons I love Brett so much is his genuine heart. He cares to know me and my feelings. He's not too "manly" to pray or show his feelings as well. We've even been praying more together. I notice when it's not just the two of us, but we include God in our relationship, it seems to become easy again. We try to embody what James had to say.
As I pray this week, I pray that my son (and my growing lil' baby in my belly) also finds God's word. I pray that Brett and I teach them from a young age what it means to go to God for guidance in their lives.
Happy Anniversary, Babe. I am so thankful and blessed to have you as my husband.
"I am the luckiest girl in the world".
