The Baby Blues are REAL. If you are preparing to have a child anytime soon, grab a tissue, you’re going to need it.
“Did I say something wrong?” as my father in law passed me on the couch.
“Did I upset you?” whispered my sister-in-law in my ear.
It was Easter weekend at my in-laws. After dinner, we all were relaxing and enjoying each other’s company. And I, two months after birthing my child, was sitting on the couch with my mother-in-law bawling my eyes out.
No one understood what was going on. Heck, I didn’t know what was going on. Everyone thought something must have happened. But no, I just simply wanted to cry.
I remember laughing as tears welled up in my eyes telling each family member how nothing was wrong, and I just tend to do this lately. I remember my husband confirming to everyone that all was okay. (He had seen his fair share of crying in the past days.)
I cried a lot the first 1-2 months after birthing my first child. And, as I have learned and read, it’s totally normal. I just had no idea how true it really was.
Before having children, I thought the, “baby blues” were just for women who were depressed after pregnancy – postpartum depression. But, I quickly learned that MANY women go through some depression as hormones start to level back out. Also, I was trying to do it all: learn how to breastfeed, change a diaper, take pictures of every new moment—all on very little sleep! So crying just seemed natural with all the new and overwhelming things going on!
My poor husband. I’m sure he thought I was looney. I would cry for all sorts of reasons and also for no reason at all. He still tried to comfort me. Being the good man he is, he would try to ask me questions to try to figure out what was “wrong”. My answer many times was, “I am the happiest I’ve ever been, but I just feel like crying.” I went through so many emotions those first days of having a newborn that I couldn’t always express what I was feeling, and crying was just easier.
My favorite was to cry in the shower. My sister taught me this trick (if you can call it that). She’s actually the one who made me feel quite normal during the blues since she also just had a baby two months prior to me. In the shower I could cry as loud and obnoxiously as possible without any crazy looks from my husband. It just felt goooooood.
So how did I know I had the baby blues and not actual post-partum depression?
Pretty easy to tell the difference: I stopped crying.
I also have a close friend who went through post-partum depression and she, thankfully, was open about her experience. She told me (a bit reluctantly but truthfully) how she didn’t feel a close bond to her child. Before she got help, she described her experience as a mother as more burdensome than joyful. Once she was prescribed depression medication, she felt all the things a mother wants to feel and should feel—happiness, love and joy for her son.
She advocated getting help if you need it. Although I never felt distant from my son, because of her, I was very aware of my feelings. I knew if I didn’t start to feel better, I would speak up – and it was okay to do so.
I am so thankful for other mothers in my life, specifically my sister and friend in this scenario. I need them. I need them to understand myself. I need to talk, to understand, to listen.
Now, being 6 months out, I really was a bit crazy. I have to laugh at myself thinking back at all those RANDOM cry sessions that just left my husband speechless.
Baby blues are real, and thank God my cute little boy will not remember those early days where I cried more than him.
