A Letter to My 3rd Trimester Body

I feel a bit bad writing this to you since we were on such good terms the past couple months.  Yes, I have finally forgiven you for the issues from 1^st trimester.  You finally understood that nausea all day long was just not working.  Puking to every little smell that didn’t please you was putting a serious cramp in my day.  I never thought I’d say that I now enjoy changing my son’s poopy diapers just for the fact that I don’t have to chuck my breakfast into the waste basket while doing it.  So, I really tried to give you the benefit of the doubt thinking we were on better terms with one another.  But, here we are again.  And I have some serious issues to discuss with you…

I think you have gone overboard with the “glow” everyone talks about one having during pregnancy.  You have taken it way too literally.  To “glow” does not mean sweat out of every pore in your body.  Under boob sweat is not attractive.  I will leave it at that.

Now, what is going on with the vagina pain?  Seriously.  I feel like someone has hit me with a baseball bat straight to the groin.  You have reduced me to having to hold on to the ledge of my dresser just to put my underwear on in the morning.  My pride is gone—especially when my husband has to help.   

I am drained.  You have made me think sitting on the couch all day is the only way to survive.  Yet, that is just not a viable option.   Please give me some energy back.  It feels like a huge triumph just to get the kitchen cleaned.   I know you would like me to sleep all day long.  That would be just dandy, huh? Well life goes on and I need you to buck up and get moving!

And how? Just how do you justify yourself making me feel exhausted all day long, yet once night comes, insomnia kicks in?!  I have gone to great lengths to make you feel comfortable.  I have taken up most of the king size bed that I share with my husband for you.  I have bought a very expensive pillow just for you.   I have my own blanket at night since you can’t make up your mind whether you are cold or hot, or dripping with sweat… all for you.  I have kept the “throw” pillows on the bed just so I can lay in more of an incline so I can breathe better for you.   So, why then do you feel the need to keep me up half the night?  I lay looking at the clock watching the hours go by because I am so uncomfortable.  And, then.  Say I do FINALLY get comfortable, or at a place I think will give me the rest I need, YOU HAVE TO GO PEE!  Can’t a woman catch a break!  These bathroom trips are seriously getting excessive.   

 

Ahhh… the bathroom.  We have become good friends.  Now, nearing the end of this pregnancy, I make constant trips, which are usually all teasers.  Please, just wait a bit for when the bladder is actually full.  Do not be deceived by the little baby pressing on it. 

Can we talk about diet for a second?  Don’t you know that vegetables, fruit and protein are all things you need to be healthy and keep that baby healthy?  Then why?  Why do you crave sugar and carbs!?  The grocery store has been a serious challenge.  I would like to have some sort of will power when I go, yet it’s like you put a trance over me.  I don’t know how you do it, but somehow those chocolate muffins and popsicles sneak their way into the cart.  I know you are behind this!  Please. I am nearing the end.  My maternity clothes don’t even fit!  My husband’s shirts don’t cover this belly.  Can you just crave some dang broccoli?

 

And lastly, all these physical ailments have definitely put me in that category of “grump”.  I try so hard to be pleasant.  My husband constantly asks me, “What’s wrong”.  I know he’s just trying to show he cares, but even the very question makes me cringe.  I respond with various answers each time, trying not to make a big deal, but this is what I’d really like to say...

"What do you think is wrong? You idiot. Don’t you see this huge watermelon I’m carrying around? How would you like to walk around with what feels like a giant bowling ball attached to your abdomen all day? I’m pregnant!  And that means a whole heck of a lot of things that I don’t feel like explaining to you!” 

So, in the efforts to NOT EVER say that to my husband, and save my marriage, let’s start to work together on this a bit.

So here’s my final plea:  Can you please ease up on all these symptoms?  We are almost there.  The home stretch.  I do not doubt the miracle you are making.  And I know it’s worth every ache and pain you present to me.  But, I’m begging you.  I can’t take much more of this.  Focus on keeping that baby healthy and try, just try, to help a mama out!  Thank you for listening. I really think together we can make some positive changes!

Wait.  What’s that?  You’re tired? Tired of trying to remember certain words to type that usually come to you so simply?

Yea. Ok, let’s go.  I think there’s a place on the couch to rest and a chocolate muffin with your name on it. 

Our Mini-Babymoon!

Before the arrival of your new bundle of joy, the new trend is to have a "Babymoon".  Really, it's just a fancy way of saying, "A-Weekend-Get-Away-Before-Total-Chaos-Ensues".  It's a chance for Mom and Dad to relax and have some time together before their lives are forever changed by their new miracle. 

My husband and I thought this sounded fantastic! A weekend just to ourselves? With no child? Eating together, relaxing together, talking about things other than our kid?  Sign us up!  And, my parents even offered to come watch our son.  Well, life got in the way and we were running out of options for weekends.  So, our dream babymoon weekend turned into a half-day at the spa...and we were not complaining one bit.

You see, when life changed with children, time also changed.  Time became more valuable.  Very valuable.

Before children, I was liberal with my time.  Slept in, binged watched episodes on Netflix, full days of shopping, long dinners out to eat... I never thought about how long I would be doing various activities.  I didn't worry about when my child would wake up, or how much more money I'd have to pay the babysitter, time was not an issue.

So, with time being a factor, we were able to make a half-day at a spa work for us. We were also on a limited budget, so we liked the idea of spending our money on particular luxuries instead of on time (for instance, a 2-night hotel stay). 

We woke up at 8 a.m. (even before my son awoke) and got ready for our spa day. My husband wasn't too excited since it was a work day for him and couldn't seem to get the stress of work off his mind.  He also didn't know how nice of a place we were actually going to...

Ponte Vedra Inn is located in Ponte Vedra, Florida.  Just trust me when I say it's one of the nicest places I think anyone could go for a vacation or spa visit. 



Outside the Spa.  35 weeks pregnant.

 

We arrived at 8:40 a.m. where we were shown our respective locker rooms to put our belongings in and changed into our provided robes and slippers.  Brett and I met each other outside of the bathrooms and we were like giddy school children awaiting a surprise.

Secretly taking a selfie in my robe since phones were forbidden. =/

 

At 9:00 a.m. we were already sitting in massage chairs and getting pedicures (Brett's first pedicure).  It was fabulous to relax and be pampered together.  Rarely do we do get to do things like this as a couple.

The rest of the day followed with hanging out in the steam room, Jacuzzi (Brett did at least, I relaxed in the meditation room and read a magazine), lunch poolside, drinks poolside, and a maternity massage for me.  We also enjoyed the pool since it was a hot summer day.  And when I say we, I really mean me.  Being 35 weeks pregnant, I felt amazing and weightless in that pool!

My sexy hubby poolside

 

 drinking cucumber mint infused water

 

We left the spa spending a pretty penny, but it was so worth it! We left around 2:00 p.m. and I have to say, we were both more relaxed than we had been in a long time.  Brett was also able to forget about work for a while.  We had the time to just be husband and wife again.   

Before children, I don't think I would have appreciated a 5-hour vacation. I don't think I would have called that a vacation at all.  But, when you're a stay-at-home-mom with no family in town to watch your children on a normal basis, a 5 hour get-away is glorious! We didn't even have to pay for a babysitter!  Grandparents are awesome!

picture my dad sent us while we were at the spa. =)

Brett and I both talked about how those 5 hours rejuvenated us - our bodies, our minds, our relationship.  It was special.  Of course we would have taken a full weekend get-away, but we considered it time and money well spent.  The babymoon was a success.  Now bring on the baby! =)