Do You Strive for Perfection?

"Why do you feel like you have to justify yourself to me? Is it something I have said to you?" asked a long time best friend over the phone.

"No, no. Its totally me. I don't know why I do that?" I told her apologetically.

She was referring to our conversation where I said "Oh, I probably should put him in time-out."(talking about when my oldest kicked my youngest while he was trying to get up on the couch.  Instead I just removed my youngest and sat him in the kitchen.)  Not the best parenting. But why did I have to justify it?

She continued, "For now on, you never need to justify yourself as a parent to me. Let's just move on from that. I'm not sitting over here judging you."    (Side note: How awesome is she?)

But I couldn't really give her a good answer until I thought about it after we hung up.

My job title is a "stay-at-home-mom."  I don't have a boss, a year-end review, or even a paycheck.  But it is my job.  And therefore, that is where I have put my value. My worth.  When the house is dirty, discipline is lacking, meals aren't properly divided into food groups, I feel the pressure of failure.  Then I feel the need to justify my duties when (in my mind) they aren't adequate.

My awesome kiddos.

I actually called my friend back and told her my revelation.  I explained further that it's hard to not have something else to put my pride and value in like a traditional paying job. (Crazy talk, I know.  Raising children is an important job.)   But nonetheless, that was it.  She reassured me of my worth yet I still kept thinking about this... my worth.


"Have I not commended you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." - Joshua 1:9 

I wrote the above verse on some computer paper and taped it on my refrigerator in hopes that I could memorize and meditate on it this week. 

Although literally slapped on my fridge, I was discouraged, and I didn't feel very strong.  But I did feel his presence.

My value is in Him.  Jesus gives me worth.

Here's the reality:  We all fail.  We fail at our jobs, we fail at parenting, we fail at our relationships...At some point, we let people down or don't get it all done. No one is perfect.

Our attempt at a perfect Christmas card picture. The boys aren't smiling. We used it anyway.

My life is no different.

There are lies saying I need to DO IT ALL. And -- do it well.  Do it right.  Put my worth in perfection.  Strive for perfection then I will have it all!  Don't we hear this all the time in our society?

It's just so wrong.  Jesus loves us at our worst.  He endured the pain for all of us. He sacrificed His life to pay for our sins--our imperfections--our failures.

He gave me Grace.

What a wonderful Heavenly reminder today.   Everyday I live in His Grace.

That doesn't mean to let my house go and children run wild, but when I fail, I am not defined by that failure.  My worth should not be in things of this world.  They will always let me down.  But He will never forsake me. 

I am defined as God's daughter.  I am so good in Him.

I will be strong.
I won't be discouraged.
He is with me wherever I go.