I Can Have a Life, and a Baby too!

Being a first time mom and a stay-at-home mom, my life truly does revolve around my child.  My day revolves around Carson, when he wakes, when he eats, when he naps...you get the idea.   I have fallen into role of "mommy" wonderfully in terms of taking care of my child, yet my social life has taken a deep plunge. 

I see some moms who continue on in a way much like their lives before children.  They attend college football games, constantly post pictures of travel and date nights, and somehow already have amazing post baby bodies, too!

A normal daily outing for Carson and me consists of a trip to Publix or a walk around the neighborhood.  A BIG outing consists of a play date with another mommy and baby or, on a rare occasion, out to dinner. 

I know I am in the category of worrier/overprotective mother.  Hey, it's my first time and I just love the Cuddle Monster so much! I cant help but worry.  I WISH I could be more carefree and adventurous with my child.  I mention these other mothers all out of PURE JEALOUSY.  I could easily obtain the lives I envy, but I somehow always have a range of excuses that hold me back.  The excuses go something like...

"We don't have family members that live near us to help out."

"We don't have day care."

"I'm still breastfeeding."

"We don't want to spend money."

"Getting a babysitter (stranger) is scary!"

...and the one I notice myself saying the most...

"I don't know if Carson will handle (insert activity here) well?"

So, the revelation that my baby and I can handle A LOT more than I give us credit for came when our family went to go visit my best friend. Leave it to the best friend to teach ya somethin'... and she doesn't even have kids!

It was going on the side of WAY-TO-LONG since I've seen my college bestie/sorority sister.  We somehow would try to plan a trip to see each other and then the plans would fall through.  Finally, we just decided to pick a date, put it on the calendar, and hold to it. 

So my husband, 7-month-old baby and I packed our Ford Edge far more than we needed to for a weekend get-away, and we were off on our 6-hour trip from Jacksonville to Pensacola to visit my friend, Olivia, and her husband, Bentley. 

One of the many things I cherish about Olivia is her zest for life.  She makes me get out of my comfort zone.  She always has. (That's probably why we have LOTS of great stories to tell from our college adventures!) So, visiting her was nothing short of busy and fun!  I wanted so badly to hang out with my best friend and be the mom that went with the flow.  But each activity that we did, I had terrible anxiety about how it would turn out. Here's a list of the many things we did during the roughly 36 hours we were there...( all with baby in tow!)

Friday:
-arrived in town late and ate Bentley's amazing cedar plank salmon while sipping on wine and laughing about who knows what.... Carson even stayed up till 11:30

Saturday:
- went out to eat for breakfast
- attended a walking tour of historic downtown Pensacola, FL (Carson only had one almost accident involving a hundred-year-old piece of china in one of Florida's oldest homes!)

- went home to regroup and pump breast milk
- walked around the Seafood Festival in downtown Pensacola
- headed to a bar to watch the Florida State football game

(O.K. here is where I have to tell you my mommy anxiety meter was burning bright red. I was pretty impressed by how much we had done throughout the day so far, but a BAR?

This is how the scenario played out in my head when I heard we were taking Carson to a bar to watch the game:

I walk in to the dark smoke-filled packed bar cradling my baby while being pushed from all directions until I find a seat to sit with my child.  Everyone is staring at me thinking how awful of a mother I am to have a child in a bar. "How could she?!" Beer is sloshing everywhere while people are yelling and cheering at the television screens.  Of course, Carson is crying!

Reality:

I walk into the open, clean, sun-filled room where everyone is sitting at tables eating lunch pleasantly watching the game.  It's just like any sports bar on an early Saturday afternoon; all different types are there to watch the game, families included.  It's relatively quiet while Carson, Olivia and I walk over to our husbands waiting on us with chairs for us to sit in. We order some food and drinks.  People come over to Carson to tell us how cute he is in his Seminole jersey. 

So, yes.  My imagination definitely ran away from me! Good thing I had Olivia there to tell me all was going to be O.K. before we walked in.  Carson loved the clapping and cheering and all the commotion to keep him busy! He lasted the whole 4 hours of the game at that bar!  Of course it was a bit tiring for my husband and I to hold him the whole time, but ultimately we all had a great time watching our 'Noles win!

Back to the list...

- headed back to the house to regroup and give Carson a nap
- went back to Seafood Festival to eat dinner and attend an 80's cover band concert

Sunday:
- went for a walk around Olivia's beautiful historic neighborhood
- ate brunch at a restaurant overlooking the gulf

- relaxed on the beach before our trip home

I didn't want to tell Olivia no to any of these things just because I was nervous about how Carson would handle it.  I wanted to show her I could do it all and live it up like we used to.  I only denied her once when she tried to get her neighbor to watch Carson while we went to the concert.  A stranger watch my child? I'm not that carefree.  I know I was a nervous wreck at times worrying about all these "new" adventures with Carson, but ultimately I had a blast. I loved spending time with my best friend and it meant the world to me for her to meet Carson. 

Did we do a lot in a 36-hour time frame? Heck ya.  Was I tired? That's an understatement.

But the real question:

How did Carson do? Just fine.  Wow, I could do more than just take him to the grocery store and back in a day? What a revelation!

I couldn't help but look at Olivia's life and envy it a bit.  Her husband is killing it as a new lawyer in town while she is doing awesome expanding her father's business and teaching dance at night.  They also have tons of friends and seem to be quite the socialites of Pensacola.  I wouldn't expect anything less from this power couple!

It made me reflect on my life and my situation.  Of course we can't do all that they do or have weekends like that all the time, but we can definitely get out a little more!  I need to stop making excuses because I am nervous or anxious about the unknown. 


God bless my friendship with Olivia.  A friend that is good company is great, but a friend that can make you become a better version of yourself is one to be cherished. Since my visit with Olivia, I have started to say yes to so much more! Not only will it benefit Carson to have new experiences, but Mommy and Daddy will start to get some "normalcy" back into their lives again, too!

My Pit Bull is Great with My Baby

My 8-year-old pit bull, Sadie, and my almost 8-month-old baby, Carson, have the sweetest friendship between dog and baby.  Although this is not necessarily a revelation to me, I can see how some people would have their doubts about such a close, sweet friendship.

I used to be in this category of people:  "Pit bulls are scary.  They are bred to kill and protect.  They are unpredictable.  I would never want one for a pet, or nonetheless, around my child." 

This all changed when I met Sadie in 2007.   My husband rescued her in 2005 from an animal shelter in Tallahassee, FL.  She had scabies, heartworm, an ear infection and was guessed to be around 4-months-old. He had no intention of taking home a dog that day, but he couldn't refuse that pitiful puppy face staring at him through the bars.  He made a promise that day that he would never have her live that way again.

Sadie has given us such joy in the time we've had her.  If you are a dog lover like us, you know that there are some dogs that just have that something special about them.  Sadie is nothing short of special.

Sadie has a very sweet demeanor about her.  Many of her qualities seem human-like.  She is sensitive and sweet.  If you were to come to our house today, Sadie would greet you at the door, lick you like crazy, and follow you around the house.  She would sit right next to you hoping for a good scratching behind the ears or patting on the head.  Her eyes are the best; she looks at you like she's looking into your soul. 

Sadie does some things that I have never seen a dog do before:

Sadie will not eat food unless you tell her its for her.  What dog does this? We even have a big OPEN box of treats that sit on the floor of our laundry room which remains untouched. She will only eat them if we give them to her. 

She also has the funniest, "UH-OH" face.  If she does something wrong, like pee on the floor or chew a toy that is not hers, she will curl up her lip showing all of her teeth.  We think its her, "I'm sorry" face. 

She also hates yelling.  My husband and I have some cute memories of being newlyweds where we would start bickering/yelling at each other and then have to start "whisper fighting" since it would make Sadie shake and get scared. It's like she keeps us in check of our emotions. 

Sadie has never, and I truly mean NEVER, hurt a human being.  In the almost 9 years she's been alive, not I, nor my husband, have seen her nip, bite, or growl at a human being. 

But, I shouldn't lie and tell you she is an innocent angel.  She is still a dog.  An instinctual dog.  And all dogs should be monitored as such. 

Here's some interesting/funny/sad things Sadie has done throughout the years:

1. Brought a live opossum into the house as a present - 3 different times.  Standing up on couches, swooshing them with brooms, trapping them in trash bags, all make for great, funny memories. 

2.  Took down a baby deer that was running through my in-law's property in the country. The deer was able to get away. 

3. Dragged squirrels and birds onto the bed for us to stumble upon.

4. Killed a barn cat that kept running onto my in-law's property.

5.  Attacked a rattle snake and ended up with three bites on her nose and lip.  Luckily the anti-venom saved her life in time. 

So, it's safe to say, if there is an animal that she doesn't know, and it is on the run, she will instinctually run after it.  

There is one animal story with Sadie that melts my heart: 

Sadie was acquainted with a baby squirrel that fell out of a tree one Christmas holiday. This squirrel was so young that my mother-in-law had to feed it throughout the night.  It would stay in a towel on her bedside table, until one night, the squirrel fell.  My mother-in-law panicked when she awoke to see an empty towel.  Then, she walked into the bathroom and saw that Sadie had picked up the squirrel, carried it into the bathroom, and nuzzled it into a t-shirt to keep it warm.  There, Sadie remained licking it like her own baby.  I believe Sadie cared for that squirrel because we, humans, cared for the squirrel.  She treated it differently. 

Like I said, She is one-of-a-kind. 

Many people asked me this question when I was pregnant:

 "Are you worried about your dog with your son?"
(The underlying meaning: "Are you worried about your PITBULL with your son"?)

No.  I am not worried in the way that many people think I would be.  Am I worried that my dog will attack or bite my son?  No, never.  I do worry about Sadie around my son just like any animal around any child. I am worried about things like Sadie pawing him for attention or scratching his skin on accident.  I am worried Sadie will want to play and jump on him too roughly.  I believe I am cautious with my dog around my son like any parent should be about pets around their children.  It is smart to be aware and watch their interactions, no matter what bread of dog.  That's just being a safe guardian.   

From the start, Sadie was curious about Carson.  At first she would just sniff him and walk away, unsure about the crying baby taking up our attention.  Now that Carson knows Sadie, looks for Sadie, smiles and laughs when he sees Sadie, Sadie just soaks up all the attention. And these two have become quite lovely friends. 

Wherever Carson and I are playing, on the bed, on the floor, or eating in the kitchen, Sadie is right there ready to play.  Sadie has such a patient way with Carson.  Carson is at the age where he doesn't know that pulling an ear or poking an eye could hurt Sadie.  So he does it relentlessly.  He loves Sadie's wagging tale, her clinking dog tags, and floppy ears. And Sadie, loves his attention.  She just sits there while Carson is constantly crawling on her until she can steal a kiss and get him to laugh.  She will even sit right next to his crib when he is crying until I come and pick him up.

I could just watch them forever.  I love that the dog that has loved on us for so long can now love on our son.

I am not the woman that once had a narrow misunderstood view of a pit bull.  Now I am a mother who couldn't imagine another dog, or breed, that could be a more perfect fit for our family.